1. Listen closely. Hear that? It’s not a stampede of snorting piglets–oh no, friend. Those organic squishy sounds are coming from your coworkers’ schnozes because Spring flowers are blooming outdoors (outdoors is the thing between your cubicle and your car). Some may be medicated, but make no mistake that at least one of your lunch buddies will be in drippy histamine anguish. That’s your first clue. See also: facial tissues flying off the shelf, sneeze symphonies, increased use of eye drops and choruses of “Gesundheit!”
2. As the temperature “outside” begins to increase, you will notice the business casual uniform around the copier beginning to vary. Don’t be alarmed to see a bare forearm or elbow–this is natural and normal. Although it’s hard to tell what the weather is like from the gloomy beige monotony of your workstation, consistent capri-pant and/or polo-shirt attiring illustrates clearly that the seasons have, indeed, changed over to Spring.
3. Similarly, the temperature in the office should reflect this change. Throughout the winter, the office thermostat has probably been hovering near 80 in an attempt to please everyone/cause inadvertent weight loss through sauna-like conditions. Now that the weather is warmer, though, expect a frosty film over your keyboard and computer screen each morning–the air conditioner is working hard to keep you comfortably refrigerated.
4. Check your email. Do you see various requests to join in any kind of “activity” (things people do “after work” in the space between the building and your car), like softball, volleyball, barbecues, run/walks for the cause, theatre in the park, etc.? This one is trickier, but the key is to identify that all of these events will take place mostly “outdoors:”–if so, it’s definitely Spring.
5. When you drive through the nearest acceptably healthy eating establishment (and, let’s be honest, if there’s a drive-thru how healthy can it be?), notice the seasonal selections. This may be difficult in the dark of evening when you’re tired from sitting mostly motionless in one place for roughly ten hours, excercising only your brain and fingers but it’s not impossible, pal. Look for “fresh” ingredients like strawberries and blueberries popping up in 1200 calorie salads. Observe breaded “fish” sandwiches that may or may not have come out of a tube. The colors are also usually a dead Spring giveaway
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